The Saga That Is Terrell Owens

Owens came into The NFL as an unheralded player in 1996 out of The
University of Tennessee-Chattanooga. Owens was drafted by The San
Francisco 49ers in the third round of The NFL Draft as he was expected
to help at the wide receiver position to keep The 49er offensive machine
going into The 21st Century. In Owens’ first two seasons he totaled 95
receptions for 1,456 yards and 12 touchdowns. By 1998 Owens had a
breakout season where he had 67 receptions for 1,097 yards and 14
touchdowns. Owens signature moment of the season came in The NFC Wild
Card Game against the defending NFC Champion Green Bay Packers. Owens
dropped every pass that was thrown to him during the contest by 49er
quarterback Steve Young. However in the final seconds of the game, Owens
hauled in the game-winning 25-yard touchdown catch after being tattooed
by Packers safety Darren Sharper and thus the legend of T.O. was born.

By the time that Young retired in 1999, Owens became a real-life version
of Willie Beamon as it became all about him. In 2000 during a game
against The Dallas Cowboys, Owens famously ran to midfield and posed on
The Cowboys logo which drew the ire of Cowboys players and fans alike.
Owens attempted this act a second time during the game only to be
tackled by Cowboys defensive back George Teague. 49ers head coach Steve
Mariucci would go on to suspend Owens for the team’s next game.

Owens became famous for having spats with coaches on the sidelines and
throwing his quarterbacks under the bus. Owens could not get along with
49ers Pro Bowl quarterback Jeff Garcia and by the end of 2003 Owens was
traded to The Philadelphia Eagles.

Upon becoming a member of The Eagles, Owens signed a seven-year, $49
million deal which The NFL’s Player Union advised him not agree to. In
14 games in 2004, Owens amassed 77 receptions for 1,200 yards and 14
touchdowns as he and Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb torched NFC East
opponents. Late in the season Owens fractured his ankle against The
Cowboys after Dallas safety Roy Williams brought him down with a
“horse-collar” tackle which has since been rendered illegal. Without
Owens in The NFC Playoffs, The Eagles were able to advance to The Super
Bowl.

Owens’ rehab was the stuff of legends leading up to The Super Bowl.
Owens had a hyperbaric chamber shipped to Jacksonville, Florida as he
prepared for the game. As The Super Bowl approached many people wondered
if Owens would hinder The Eagles offense, but New England Patriots head
coach Bill Belichick prepared his team as if Owens would be at 100
percent and Belichick was very accurate. Owens finished Super Bowl 39
with nine receptions for 122 yards in The Eagles 24-21 loss.

After the game Owens would publicly criticize McNabb for vomiting during
the game and accused him of not being ready to play which caused a
delicate quarterback/wide receiver relationship to become extremely
fragile.

By 2005 Owens hired Drew Rosenhaus as his agent. After his dynamic 2004
season, Owens demanded a new contract. Owens drew the ire of Eagles head
coach Andy Reid who subsequently sent Owens home during training camp.
Owens then famously worked out for reporters on his driveway in New
Jersey. After seven games Reid had seen enough as he deactivated Owens
for the rest of the season. After the season, The Eagles released Owens
making him a free agent. Owens would now take his traveling circus to
Dallas.

In Dallas trouble began to brew immediately as Owens was not a fan
favorite of Cowboys head coach Bill Parcells. Parcells had a reputation
of being a no-nonsense coach who did not tolerate “me” type players on
his team. Owens was brought in by Cowboys owner Jerry Jones who saw T.O.
making the kind of impact that Hall of Fame wide receiver Michael Irvin
had made for The Cowboys in the 90s.

By the end of 2006, Parcells packed his bags as those three super-egos
could not co-exist. Wade Phillips was brought in to be the next head
coach in Dallas as he was a “players coach”. In 2007 Owens finished with
81 receptions for 1,355 yards and 15 touchdowns. The Cowboys finished
with a 13-3 record which was the best record in The NFC. The Cowboys
would then lose to their division rival The New York Giants in The
Divisional Round 21-17. After the game Owens famously cried while
fielding questions about Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo. I knew that
these were “crocodile tears” that Owens was shedding as he never took up
for Garcia or McNabb.

In 2008, Owens began to criticize Romo for constantly targeting Cowboys
tight end Jason Witten on passing plays. Witten also happened to be
Romo’s best friend on the team. Owens did make a point as Romo did tend
to force the ball into Witten while T.O. was open on plays. After
publicly criticizing Romo, fans in Dallas turned on Owens as they booed
him and before you knew it, Owens was released.

The T.O. sideshow would continue as he played a season for The Buffalo
Bills and Cincinnati Bengals respectively. In those two seasons Owens
totaled 127 receptions for 1,812 yards and 14 touchdowns. Once Owens got
to Cincy, he was on a team of malcontents including wide receiver Chad
Ochocinco and Adam “Pacman” Jones.

In 2011 after recovering from knee surgery, Owens held a public workout
for all 32 NFL teams, but only the media showed up. Owens was then
relegated to The Wranglers of The Indoor League. Now Owens is out of the
league after Wranglers owner Jon Frankel terminated him for failure to
make an appearance at a children’s hospital and his refusal to play in
two upcoming road games.

To most people this is not a surprise about Owens as he has never been a
team guy. If Owens had his way, he would have 1,600 yards with 20
touchdowns. The team would go 4-12 and Owens would have commercials on
ad nauseum. To make matters worse, Owens was recently on an episode of
The Dr. Phil Show with three women who have claimed that he owes them
money for child support.